Whuuttt… 13 months since my last post. Atrocious. I told myself that I should write more in this blog but inertia and laziness has won the battle.
I should definitely write more to stimulate my increasingly stagnant mind, probably made so by the quotidian and unimaginative nature of working life as an adult. The thing about writing at work – sure, drafting emails does engage the mind – but the style of writing required is vastly different compared to personal writing, such as now. It almost feels as if the conduits of creativity within my brain have dried and shriveled; as if the previously firing neurons within the gray matter have sizzled out. Perhaps some literary penmanship could jolt some the life back. (New year resolution anyone?)
Writing at work requires concise and succinct writing, none of the superfluous shit you see here. The key is to use efficient and simple English without any hint of ambiguity, based on logical flow. And you have to put it in a way which your boss likes. Not the easiest job as I do not possess a major in mind-reading. However, expressing myself freely in writing, I have realize, seems to have an unshackling effect, almost like activating an “ON” button my mind. I can’t speak for everyone but as an introvert, penning down my thoughts makes me feel alive as opposed to verbalizing them, which drains my energy if they require my musings. On with today’s muse…
1) To do grown up things and hold responsibilities such as a 9-5 job, a mortgage/rent, a car payment, or anything else that makes one think of grown ups.
2) Being a responsible adult. Used by immature 20-somethings who are proud of themselves for paying a bill.
Source: Urban Dictionary
A term invented and oft used by millennials that “reduces” the inexorable event of growing up to an optional hobby, it tends to receive criticism from the older generation, who enjoy lambasting the younger generation for having it too easy. But then again, wouldn’t they wish their children a better life than themselves? Hmm… then again, I can see their point of view as youths nowadays are definitely not as self-sufficient as compared to earlier generations. However, history has shown time and again that every generation will compare themselves favorably to the next and point out the latter’s shortcomings, even though they were the ones responsible for shaping the next generation. I have no doubt that I will have similar sentiments of my kids next time (if I have kids, that is).
I think I have “adulted” quite a fair bit in 2017. It has been 2.5 years since I’ve graduated and started work; I’ve lost some of my youth (and quite a bit of hair) worrying over work and my mom’s health; I’m paying bills/renovation/expenses for my family; I’ve fretted over insurance coverage for my family; I’ve pondered over money for personal investments; I’ve a better idea of what I look for in a partner; I’ve adopted a silly kid (my dog); and I’m soon to experiencing my first ever job change. In short, if I’m a DOTA hero, I have probably reached Level 6 and learnt my Ultimate. Yes, I think quite a lot has happened in the past year. For better or worse, the verdict is still out, but adulting isn’t as awesome (or fun) as I envisaged it to be as a student.
At times I do miss the student lifestyle of relatively carefree days when the only concerns we had were tests, exams, and looking good to impress our eye-candies. In hindsight, I can’t help but wonder why we treated them as life or death situations in the past when in reality they were just minor stress events. In the grand scheme of things, insignificant and ephemeral in the long run. “Adult” life certainly throws us more curve-balls, pressure situations, do-or-die scenarios which demand and justify our worrying. As with human nature, it is usually the things we can’t have that we crave for. We can’t rewind and relive our younger days, as the sands of time slip through the cracks of our fingers, leaving us only with the yearning of memories gone by. Adulthood is only going to get tougher.
So look forth I say, with optimism. Optimism is a unique human ability and concept, borne out of our developed prefrontal cortex (the part of our brain that makes us “human”, so to speak). It describes forward thinking and imagination through a positive-biased outlook, believing that the future will be better than the present, regardless of whether it is true or not. Hence, it is only natural that humans are optimistic when we are young. Boundaries are non-existent for work, romance, self-fulfillment and achievements. Physical and mental decline? Setbacks and limitations? Oh please, the skies’ the limit.
The years pass by with the blink of an eye and the countdown begins, not just for life itself, but also for the different phases in life. Career. Marriage. Family. Retirement. Savings. Alas, for some reason, optimism seems to be in shorter supply as we grow older, it seems. Whether self-inflicted, delivered by someone or something, or forced into it by social construct, we all get caught between a rock and a hard place (many times) growing up. What is also true is that as we age, we all become that little bit more jaded, that little bit less optimistic. I feel it. The torrential bombardment (both figuratively and literally) of negativity reflected in news and media certain do us no favor in reversing this trend, and only serves to reinforce our grim dispositions.
“The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it he knows too little.”—Mark Twain
It also appears that the more I learn of this world, the more cynical I become of it. Maybe what they say about ignorance being bliss is true. Indeed, how do we maintain our sense of wonder and humor as we age? That is a mystery, which I want to solve, and I hope to solve. If anyone has the answer, do let me know 🙂
ALRIGHT time to sleep.